Rethinking the Dates of the New Testament releases next week. In honour of this event, I want to give my definitive opinions on Star Trek movies.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)—the special effects were an epochal leap from The Original Series, but the story was just boring, and the uniforms so ill-conceived that the cast would only come back for a sequel if they were given an entirely new wardrobe.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)—a sequel to The Original Series episode "The Space Seed," this was the first great Star Trek movie. Some would still claim that it's the best, although I would argue that both The Undiscovered Country and First Contact top it. But nonetheless, it set the standard for what cinematic Star Trek excellence looks like.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)—concerned with tying up loose ends from Wrath of Khan, The Search for Spock is highly underrated. Still, it tells a good story, is an enjoyable watch, and has some of the best feels in the entire franchise. Probably no Star Trek episode or movie has gotten at the emotional bonds between the crewmembers of the various ships or stations as deeply as The Search for Spock.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)—easily the funniest Star Trek outing, and the first to really address the modern ecological crisis. It brings the trilogy that started with Wrath of Khan to an end, while also setting the stage for the animosity between Kirk and the Klingons which would constitute a significant theme for the next two movies.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)—the ultimate lemon. The first half is actually quite fun, but then you learn what is motivating the villain and you're like "WTAF? I sat through the last forty-five minutes for this nonsense?" About the only way to get through this movie would be to turn it into some sort of drinking game.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)—just amazing, and in my opinion the single best two hours involving the original crew. A clear allegory for the end of the Cold War, it was released the same month that the Soviet Union officially dissolved—making it probably the single most timely Star Trek story to ever appear on either the small or big screen. It nonetheless has a timeless quality, dealing as it does with the struggle to set aside grudges and to focus upon collectively creating a better world.
Star Trek: Generations (1994)—the first The Next Generation movie. Coming out only six months after TNG ended, it is clearly still trying to figure out what differentiates a TNG movie from the TV series. The result is something that seems unable to decide whether it's about wrapping up arcs from the series or carving out new storytelling paths.
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)—the best Star Trek film, hands down. And I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.
Star Trek: Insurrections (1998)—it would have made for a decent two-part episode of the series. As a movie, it's middling.
Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)—billed as the last TNG movie, the best thing it has going for it is that it's essentially a TNG remake of Wrath of Khan. That's also what makes this outing altogether skippable. The fact that Star Trek: Picard had to deal with its wreckage almost twenty years later speaks to just how inadequate this was an ending to the TNG journey.
Star Trek (2009)—as reboots go, not horrible. It was fun, the cast was well chosen, and it made some unexpected decisions. But it also lacked the real heart of Star Trek, namely the idea that there is a better world waiting out there if we're just willing to work for it.
Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)—WTF did I just watch?
Star Trek Beyond (2016)—okay, but basically pointless.
Bonus Content: The Animated Series is the most underappreciated part of the franchise, and don't dare tell me how much you like Trek if you don't harbour a secret love for it's early 70s low-budget inconsistently scripted glory.
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